A life remembered

The loving partner of a dear friend of mine is dying from cancer. There are doubts that she will make it to Christmas, or to their 20th anniversary on Christmas Eve. Sasha and Mau have been the type of friends we all have on the edges of our lives - good people, loving people, who either live far away or lead busy lives, and thus we don't get to see each other very often. But when we're together, the smiles and the laughter always ring true.

On Monday, Sasha asked that I work on the Memorial program for Mau, so that it could be in place when the time came. I've been asked to speak at memorials before, as a friend and as a minister, and have even conducted the funeral services of man and beast. But to be given the responsibility of creating a remembrance for someone who has touched so many lives so deeply...this was an honor indeed, and a frightening one at that.

I searched through books and online, and read through my past services for such occasions, and I called on those who knew Mau to contribute what they felt was meaningful to her legacy. I would like to post some of those items here, as I found them to be profound and moving, and hope in some ways, they are inspiring.


I will not live an unlived life.
I will not live in fear
of falling or catching fire.
I chose to inhabit my days,
To allow my living to open me,
to make me less afraid,
more accessible,
to loosen my heart until it becomes a wing,
a torch, a promise.
I choose to risk my significance,
to live so that which came to me as seed
goes to the next blossom,
and that which came to me as blossom,
goes on to fruit.

If we measure a life by
the love that flowed through it,
the inspiration that found expression in it,
the joy that took root in it, and
the friends who felt at home in it,
then we can see that Mau's life
was generous and fully lived.


This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
Some momentary awareness comes
As an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!

Even if they are a crowd of sorrows,
Who violently sweep your house
Empty of its furniture,
Still,
Treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
For some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
Meet them at the door laughing,
And invite them in.
Be grateful for whoever comes,
Because each has been sent
As a guide from beyond.

Death is not the end. Death can never be the end.
Death is the road. Life is the traveller. The Soul is the Guide
Our mind thinks of death. Our heart thinks of life. Our soul thinks of Immortality.

I won’t say don’t cry, because we need to cry.
I won’t say don’t be sad, because we are sad.
I can’t say it’s ok, because it isn’t ok,
And I can’t say it’s better now, for her, because how can we know that?

This I do know:
She was a student first.
And what a student she must have been,
To have gathered so much wisdom; to have become, for us,
Our teacher, our mentor, our healer, our counselor, and partner.

A thousand babies were born into her warm, waiting hands,
And still more to them.
A thousand wounds were healed, and
A thousand souls have been mended
by her strong spirit and great wisdom.
So much energy flows from her to us,
And from us to the world.

And so, as she leaves behind the thousands of us
Whom she touched, and we ask ourselves
“What can I do?”
The answer seems to be: share the light and energy she touched us all with.
Her time here with us was not in vain and does not end now.
It has only just begun,
In this moment.