Samhain Reflections

The cool air of Samhain is here - yet another turn of the wheel ends and begins anew. The time has come for remembrance, for introspection and for healing.

The Earth is primary, as the Mother exchanges the kiss of power with the God and retreats into the womb to rest and restore. The God dons his antlers and revels in his work of protection and will, for he is our guide through the dark days until the light returns to us.

I remember those we have lost this year, both to the next life and to a different path. Some will return again in time, others in another lifetime.

I think about those who have lost me this year - whom I have pulled away from by choice, or who I have chosen not to fight, but to allow to move on to other journeys that do not include me.

I think of all the new people who have joined my circle this year - the many smiling faces that have come to be known as family.

I give thanks for all those I hold close to my heart, and for all those who hold me close in theirs.

And I give thanks to the God and Goddess for the man who stands beside me - my partner, lover and friend - my soul mate.

This is a time for feasting, for telling stories, for remembering and for honoring. It is a time to slow down, to savor the smells and flavors of the frosty air, to smile as the little ghouls and goblins skip along the sidewalks and pilfer treats from neighboring houses.

Under the moonlight tonight, as the breeze plays on your skin, open your heart to your memories and find a place of peace there - ground yourself in that peace and use it to build your foundation for the coming year ahead.

Learning to Let Go

It's not an easy thing - to trust your gut and just let go....to allow your faith to guide your actions. Even for Pagans, letting go and allowing the universal divine to guide you through rough patches is a difficult exercise. We're so used to taking the lead, taking personal responsibility, being in control.

There are a select few people in my life whom I respect and admire because they have "mastered" the art of letting go. I've seen them remain calm and cool headed, even under extreme pressures. All because they have faith that the divine will see them through, and that the current events had to happen in order for them to learn a lesson and move forward. They somehow manage to really "be" in the moment, to see the lesson at hand, conceptualize it, understand it and learn from it - all the while they're in this maelstrom of things going haywire.

It's something I strive for - this peaceful place of acceptance and learning. I'm a hard headed Aries, and patience, though a virtue, is not one that comes easy to those of us who enjoy butting our heads into walls.

But I'm trying...and I'm learning. Not just about the many lessons I have yet to understand in this lifetime, but I'm also learning about myself, and my capacity for inner peace, and my ability to help others find that place of acceptance and learning, especially when the sky seems to be falling on our heads.

How about you? What's your capacity for inner peace? Is your faith strong enough to just let go?

The Joys of Chosen Family

Home Again, Home Again....

I came home again this past weekend, when my husband and I attended WytcheHaven, a bi-annual gathering of open-minded and loving people in the Ozarks. This place, this sanctuary of Pyrth Annwn, has become my home, and the fellow "Weekenders" have truly become my family, my hearthkin.

Smiles, hugs, shouts of joy, giggles, laughter - all greet you as you drive up the windy road to the check in station and are greeted by the volunteers. More happy shouts and smiles come as you drive the main road, looking for a good camping spot. Even more come as you start to unpack your vehicle, and folks (some whom you know, others whom you are meeting for the first time) come up and offer to help you get settled.

This place has blossomed into a community of like-minded spirits - a chosen family of love and joy. It's been a week now since we left and returned to Mundania, and still my heart is full of happiness, joy, excitement, optimism and levity....how I wish we could meet more than just twice a year.

The sounds of the drums still echo inside of me...I find myself tapping out the beat here at my desk...I can smell the campfires, and in my mind's eye see the dancers as they commune with the flames and salamanders in the revel fire.

Even our young pup, Cenau, wants to go back. Everytime we go out to the cars, he's ready to jump in and head "camping." Ever since we returned, he spends more time outside than in - the pup that used to live stretched out on the floor vent now galavants through our 20 acres like he owns the place.

The freedom of truly being yourself, without fear of judgement or reprisal - to be accepted as you are - how wonderfully liberating that is for the soul, body and mind - how I wish Mundania could instead be like this, so that we could all be one family, one hearthkin.

Finding Your Way

I was on a long (6 hour) road trip to Kansas City the other day with a colleague of mine from the office. When we hit the "no radio" area, she glanced through my CD's and popped in Sting's "Mercury Falling" album.

I hadn't listened to this one in a while and found myself happily humming along through the first few songs, lyrics seemingly coming from the depths of my brain to allow me to sing along in my head. And then we hit the song "Soul Pilot" and I had one of those mini epiphanies that can either make or break your day.

It's a really simple song - basically, Sting is saying to trust your Soul (aka your intuition, gut instinct, etc.) to guide you on your path, whether things are going really well or really badly.

What a simple solution to everyday stress - stop, breathe, listen to your Soul, and move ahead. I think it's actually the Stop part that hangs everyone up - we're so busy getting things done that the idea of actually stopping and standing (or sitting) still for more than 5 seconds seems impossible.

So - I tried it. I've been fretting about a lot of small things lately - we're getting ready to put on a major festival, and with these types of events there are 101 oddball odds and ends that need attending to, and seemingly no time to get them all done. So, as I said, I tried it by stopping - stopping what I was doing, stopping thinking about work, and just clearing my mind. You would not believe how hard that was. Try it - you'll see. Tuning out co-workers, phones, computers, printers, the worries in my head - oy!

I eventually got to a serene place, took paper and pen, and made a list of the small worries that have been eating at me. Then, one by one, I went through each item, and focused just on that one thing - and really listened to myself and to my higher self about it. One by one, I got ideas and ways to move forward, until I'd made it to the bottom of my list. Then I sat back and looked at it - wow - there was a lot of relieved stress and worry on that page - there was direction and potential movement in its place. Pretty darn cool.

So now, I'm not worrying, because I have a plan of action, and my day actually feels lighter and brighter than it did a few minutes ago. What a marvelous feeling of accomplishment. I highly recommend the exercise - it might surprise you.

Musings from the Back Porch

I am lucky enough to work at a pagan-owned company, smack-dab in the middle of the Ozarks, that just so happens to be on the third floor of a building in the city's Courthouse Square. We have a lovely porch out back that looks out upon the vast sprawl of the city and the bountiful greens of the ozark forests beyond.

It's a wonderful place to take a brain-break, relax and watch the last of the hummingbirds fly through, stealing the final sips of nectar from the vines that crawl along our porch railings. We've been fortunate enough at home to have been entertained this summer by these fast flying acrobats - I've marveled at how quickly their young matured, and at the strange and melodious chirpings they make, especially when defending their territory. At the height of our season, we had over 12 hummingbirds fighting over our one measley feeder - the cats (needless to say) spent the majority of their summer with their noses glued to the window.

Today's high flyer on the back porch here at work was alone, quickly and efficiently slurping down the flower sap as it flitted from flower to flower. No rest for the weary it seemed, as he skillfully worked his way along the vine, not missing a single flower that I could see. Made me tired just watching him.

How often do we behave just like him - quickly working through our errands without a second to pause and take in the beauty around us. It made me realize that I had been doing just that all morning - rushing to work, working through meetings, running several errands on my lunch break, then rushing back to work and working through my To-Do lists...all the while completely oblivious to the beautiful weather outside - bright sunshine, azure blue skies, a lovely breeze and cool temperatures - my short break out on the porch has completely managed to reinvigorate me for the rest of the day.

How about you? Been buzzing around at high speed like the hummingbird? Make the choice to allow yourself a moment to catch your breath, breathe in deep and let your shoulders relax. Bet you feel better too!

The Power of Forgiveness

Remember the old adage, "Forgive and Forget"? As children, we're all reminded to forgive, and better yet to forget when bad things happen and move on. I advise a different strategy - "Forgive and Learn."

I don't see how "forgetting", or really just pretending to forget, helps anything. Instead, we should forgive and we should learn from what has taken place, and then move forward. Forgetting seems like a waste, a cop-out.

If we instead Learn from what happened, we at least have a leg up on the situation if we encounter it again. And we've grown - we've allowed ourselves to grow in some way by choosing to learn. When we forget, we choose to stagnate, to stay mired in our feelings of hurt or betrayal.

Be honest - can you ever truly forgive and forget? Isn't it easier to forgive and learn?

Gratitude

Gratitude - saying "Thank You" - giving thanks for the harvest - acknowledging the efforts of a friend, or even a stranger - being grateful you're not alone.

How many times do we take it for granted that people know we are grateful for them - for their help, their wisdom, their advice, their shoulder to cry on, for being a sounding board, for just listening, or for doing something completely unexpected but urgently needed?

What are you grateful for today? Not just grateful for in general, but grateful for TODAY...what's happened today so far that you're grateful for? For myself, I'm grateful to have woken up next to a very sexy pagan man, grateful for my puppy's unabashed lickings of love as I stumbled to the door, for my cat's well-timed jump into my lap as I sipped my coffee so I could give her some well deserved pets. I'm grateful to the man at the stop sign who waved me through, for the coworker who started the coffee this morning so I could grab a cup without having to make a pot.

Do you see where I'm going with this? There are so many little miracles that happen everyday to lighten our lives and lighten the weight the world places on our shoulders. Open your heart, and find the loving gratefulness that's in there, waiting to be unleashed and gifted to all those around us that we're grateful for every day - you'll be amazed how being grateful for others can make you feel better yourself.

Change

The following quote is posted on the wall across from desk...

"change is...to give up what we are to become what we could be."

It's an interesting perspective on the subject - so many times, we see change as merely the denouement of the inevitable turning of the wheel. As time advances, so does change.

What if every change was for a reason? Many of you are sitting there saying, "Well of course every change is for a reason." A Universal reason, yes - I would agree - say hello to the old Cosmic 2 x 4 to the back of the head. But what about a personal reason?

Can you find a personal reason for the changes in your life? Do you see growth in change, or perhaps further stagnation? Do you look for the meaning, or just roll with the punches?

How many times have we missed the point of change?

How many times have we instigated change?

How many times have we run from change, choosing to remain tightly within the cocoon of the familiar?

Is your cocoon getting a bit snug?

Being grateful for the little things

Ever had one of those days where you just want to crawl back into bed, pull the covers over your head and not wake up til tomorrow? But you have a job, and you need your paycheck, so you drag your sorry butt out of bed, get dressed and present a smile to the world at the office while inside you're wishing you could just turn around and go home?

I had one of those days recently, and the simplest thing turned it all around for me. After slogging through the workday and driving thru traffic, I came home to a HUG. Not a big hug, not an "over the top hug ya til ya can't breathe" hug - just a hug, but it was all I needed. So simple, yet so powerful. Just a little human contact, and a gesture of love and kindness. The whole hug took less than 5 seconds I'm sure. But it completely lifted my spirits.

Am I alone in finding such a small gesture to be such a gift? Why don't we hug more these days? Children hug all the time - watch them next time you're at the park or at a playground. There's an almost constant stream of helping hands, touches on the shoulder and hugs that go on between children. Hugs of encouragement, hugs of laughter, hugs of solace, hugs of accomplishment. When do we stop hugging - and why?

Who have you hugged lately? How did it make you feel? Was it a happy hug or a sad hug? Did you do most of the hugging or did they?

I don't know about you, but I think my hubster is getting a really good hug from me when I get home tonight - just because.

Personal Responsibility

When did the virtue of Personal Responsibility become a piece of garbage easily tossed away into the nearest trash receptacle? Are parents no longer teaching their children the importance of owning up to their actions, and the consequences they bring? Growing up on a grimy street in New York City, my brother and I knew there would be hell to pay if we did something stupid - if we made a bad choice. Our parents told us, our grandparents told us - our teachers reminded us to think before we acted, our pastor told us about accepting the consequences of our choices.

Every day we make choices, both simple and complex. But when did we stop thinking before choosing? How many people do you know who blame past events for their present choices? Who refuse to see their own will at play, instead blaming the will of another who did something to them years ago. Or perhaps they blame "Society" or a bad upbringing - heaven forbid they look in a mirror or recognize that the hand causing the harm is attached to their arm.

Our world is suffering from the lack of personal responsibility people in today's society are expressing - this refusal to acknowledge their role in the destruction of our planet is hampering any efforts to reverse that damage. An Inconvenient Truth and The 11th Hour are great wake up calls that there's a problem - but if no one is willing to fess up to their part of the cause, is there really any way to fix it - or are we already doomed?

Unconditional Love

Isn't it amazing how animals can love unconditionally whereas humans cannot? Are we too evolved to truly let go and love someone completely? Or too self involved?

What is it about our furry friends which allows them to give of themselves so completely? I know there have been many days where I just couldn't have faced the world without a "kitty break" from one of our family of felines. Just those few stolen moments of a living, breathing being, curled up in fits of happiness on your lap, purring contentedly at the fact that you sat still long enough for them to get comfortable.

Why can't we do that as a species? What is it that keeps us from finding that deep sense of connectedness with each other? Are we afraid to love too deeply - perhaps victims of pain from events that happened in our past? How much courage would you need to "take the plunge" and love someone warts and all?

Allowing yourself the time to feel

Our society is such a go-go-go highway of people moving, doing, being...that we sometimes forget to stop and allow ourselves to really feel. I don't mean to stop and smell the roses or look at a pretty sunset. Instead, I mean to really stop for a moment, and ask ourselves - how do I feel? To take the time needed to really look at that - am I sad? I am. Why am I sad? To take the time to process the emotion so that you can allow yourself to move on.

It can be a pretty scary proposition at first. Think about it - if you really stop for a moment, you could have a whole list of emotions riling around in your body that you've pushed to the side to make way for "getting things done", using the excuse of "not having time now to deal with it" or telling yourself you'll "deal with it later." Well, "later" has become now.

Still mad at a friend for a perceived slight? Angry at your spouse for not changing out the toilet paper roll? Mad at the cat for clawing the furniture? Sad about the death of a writer who had a profound effect on you as a teenager?

All these emotions can get completely swirled up together into a smorgasbord of debilitating feelings - and yet society teaches us to push it all aside for a rainy day when you're alone and no one but you can be inconvenienced with it. Why is that? Why shouldn't we be able to help our friends get through these feelings? Why do we have to be alone to face them? Why don't we face them in the here and now, instead of hiding them behind our spleens until the time is right? It's no surprise our country is full of over-stressed people who have completely lost touch with who they are as beings.

Have you?

What do we mean when we say we're spiritual?

Seems like an easy question to answer on the surface, doesn't it? That's the rub...because when your brain starts to form the words for the explanation, it's at that moment you realize how many different tangents you can take.

Are you spiritual? Why are you spiritual? What constitutes being spiritual?

Does it mean we meditate every day, or stop to smell the roses and hug a tree, or just that we feel a connection to....something other than ourselves?

Is community spiritual? That great melting pot of people, beliefs and joy that meld into community would seem to be an outward expression of spirituality in it's purest sense, and yet that same community can dissolve in backstabbing, bad feelings and remorse. So fragile...

...is spirituality so fragile? Do we have to work everyday to remain spiritual? Is it something we have to renew as we wake each day or something that is always there, just waiting for us to reach out to it?

What if we don't make the choice to reach? Will our higher selves reach for us?

"Power Over" disease

Why is it that paganism today is swamped with individuals full to the brim with "Power Over" disease? They want Power Over others, power over their local communities, power over their covens, power over events in the area....where in "Do what thou wilt so long as it harm none (including yourself)" does it say...but oh yes, you can completely run someone else's life, or rule by intimidation, or evict people from a group or community because they don't believe exactly as you do? I am so tired of those petty, insecure individuals who feel they MUST be THE ONE and ONLY pagan in their area - that they have to be some kind of "clearing house" for the community at large, needing to provide their stamp of approval on everything.

Why aren't more pagan leaders standing up to these blowhards and protecting the young novices who don't have a clue? How can you sit by and allow this to continue? Why do pagans refuse to "get involved" - afraid of a witch war? scared of being "outed"? Guess what, if we don't protect our true paths, we'll have nowhere safe to walk on this journey. It's time to stand up, be heard, be fearless - and walk the walk that is our faith and belief. Time to put these overbearing dimwits on their butts and out of our communities for good.