Friday, December 21, 2007

Holiday Memories


In an attempt to not be a complete scrooge this holiday season, I picked up a $2.00 Stars of Christmas CD at Walgreen's last week. Yeah, I know...I'm such a big spender. But hey, $2.00 for a CD seemed like a pretty good deal, and it advertised songs by Bing Crosby, Frank Sinatra and more.

Well, that poor CD sat in my car all last week, and I finally put it in yesterday on my way home from work. I was immediately assaulted by the ever plucky Doris Day singing cheerfully about decking the halls with holly - oh boy, I thought - it's Christmas 50's style - great....

It roamed through a swingin Eddie Fisher singing a lounge version of O Come All Ye Faithful, Andy Williams doing his very best to sound pious on Angels We Have Heard On High, Patti Page picking up the beat with a silly yet fun version of We Wish You a Merry Christmas, and then came the beautiful pipes of Kate Smith singing a round of The First Noel/Silent Night/O Holy Night. Now that was worth the two bucks.

Frank's in there singing O Little Town of Bethlehem his way, and Bing Crosby shows up for a rousing rendition of O'Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen. Then it got to We Three Kings with Jose Feliciano, and all I could think of was the South Park Christmas Special - and I started laughing so hard I almost ran into a ditch.

I recovered in time to hear - of all people - Englebert Humperdink singing Away in a Manger (yes, I'm old enough to know who Englebert Humperdink is...sad huh?)...and then it happened...

Three notes came out of the stereo that instantly transported me back over 30 years to Christmas Eve service at St. Margaret Mary's Church, dressed in my satin Christmas finest, hair all done up with a bow (they were big back then), standing next to my grandfather, who was singing his very favorite Christmas song - in Latin - and he knew all the words. He taught me once, and as the first graceful notes of Ave Maria issued forth from the CD, damn if I don't still remember every single one. It's probably the only Latin I know, and I couldn't even tell you what I'm singing...

But there I am, singing with my Grandpa in church, 8 years old, eyes taking in the heavily candled main altar, the huge nativity scene to the right of the main altar, the stained glass windows, the stations of the cross along the walls, and the beautiful notes of Ave Maria, as sung by Perry Como...and me...and my Grandpa Joe.

What a moment in time to be transported to, and what a blessing - I hadn't thought of my Grandpa Joe in a while, and to be there in that moment with him, it reminded me of all the wonderful musical things he brought to my life, including Opera, the Great Caruso and the beautiful song, Ave Maria.

Here are the Latin words, and below them, the translation in English, so I'll finally know what the heck it is I've been singing all these years...and you will too.

Ave Maria

Gratia plena Maria,

gratia plena Maria,

gratia plena Ave,

ave dominus

Dominus tecum

Benedicta tu in mulieribus

Et benedictus

Et benedictus fructus ventris

Ventris tuae, Jesus.

Ave Maria


Ave Maria

Mater Dei

Ora pro nobis peccatoribus

Ora pro nobis

Ora, ora pro nobis peccatoribus

Nunc et in hora mortis

Et in hora mortis nostrae

Et in hora mortis nostrae

Et in hora mortis nostrae

Ave Maria
Listen to Andrea Bocelli here:
http://andrea-bocelli-ave-maria-mp3-download.kohit.net/_/422023

and for those of us who slept through Latin class, the English version (without all the repeated stanzas):

Hail Mary

Full of grace

The Lord is with thee

Blessed art thou among women

And blessed is Jesus

The fruit of thy womb


Holy Mary

Mother of God

Pray for us sinners

Now and in the hour of our death

Amen.

A Story from My Sister - My Solstice Gift to You

My sister, Ahriana, is an amazing woman - always has been, and as we move through life she continues to bring these "a-ha" moments into focus for me. Ahri runs the Colorado Eco-Spirituality Center in Colorado Springs and the center puts out a monthly newsletter. In this month's letter, she included a story about Santa that I just had to share. I highly recommend you check out their site (ahriana.com) and sign up for their newsletter (http://visitor.constantcontact.com/email.jsp?m=1101545032115). It's full of great information, and stories like the one I've copied in below that have great meaning, even for those of us who live several states away. To the right is a picture of Ahri, her husband Mark, and their two little ones, Rhannon and Ryan.

********

My life, from day to day, is full of interesting conversations. Today was no exception. Across from me, in my office, sat a dear young Heart who timidly asked "Why do we lie to our children about all of this? Why teach them to expect something that just isn't going to be true when they grow up!"

Hmmm - Good question. As our conversation progressed, we explored the whole story. You know the one - big, jolly, rosy-cheeked Bringer-of-gifts who works (with help from Elvin friends) all year to create wonderful things just for us. Initially, I thought; " this sounds like a great way to teach our kids about Spirit - big,loving, Bringer-of-abundance - working (with lots of angelic cohorts) to create for us a beautiful world to share. Sounds very similar, doesn't it?!

Unfortunately, Santa comes with a catch - you must "be good." If you don't, Santa will bring you coal - a black lump of yuck that has very little value unless you own an old fashioned bar-b-que grill! When we consider this, the Santa myth becomes little more than a tool for emotional blackmail. "Better stop pouting - Santa might be watching!" (Though I hate to admit it, I've said it myself!)

And then, if the blackmail were not enough - at about 10 years old or so, our trusting little Ones are confronted with a very harsh reality - "There is no Santa, Sweetie - it's mommy and daddy who buy the presents - but don't tell your brother!" Good Grief! And we perpetuate this every year?! What are we gonna do about this?

Obviously, Santa is a permanent fixture. He's been around for eons and I doubt we can do much to change that. In fact, I am not sure I would want to take away the magic of Santa, even if I could. However, I suggest we rewrite the story a bit. How About this:

Who is Santa, Mommy? "He's one of Spirit's helpers and his whole job is to teach us how to receive in a joy-full way! Now some people think you have to be especially good to get a gift from Santa- but the truth is, Santa loves to give to everybody, and the only thing that stops him from giving is when someones heart is afraid to receive So, your job is to love yourself and to open your heart to all the gifts that are coming your way!"

Can I have everything I want? "In time, you can. Just like Spirit, Santa gives what you are really ready to receive - and receiving takes time. You'll want to have time to play with each gift you've been given, to try it out and see what it will do- and you'll want to make time to be thankful - and when you're thankful, you'll start feeling a big warm glow around your heart. That's called JOY! Joy is something you'll want to give plenty of time to! The best thing is, that big, warm feeling helps to open your heart to even more receiving on another day! That way Spirit can bring good things to you for your whole lifetime!"

And at 10: Mommy - You're Santa, aren't you?! "Remember when I told you that Santa is one of Spirit's helpers? That's true - and yes, it's me. Spirit has been working through me all these years to teach you about the magic of life! If I had told you in the beginning that it was me, you would have missed out on the magic of trusting in someone you don't really know. This way, you had a chance to learn how it works when someone you don't even see every day wants your life to be wonderful! That's what Spirit wants for you, so the story of Santa is one way we teach children to open their hearts to receiving from Spirit.You are so special to me and I want you to have lots of practice at opening your heart to all the wonderful gifts that Spirit has in store for you. We can practice being joy-full together too!

And, did you know that, because you've opened your heart so wide to receive, you are ready to be a helper of Spirit too? This year, you can help me choose the gifts for your little brother - and when its time to share the secret of Spirit with him in a few years - we can do it together!"

Can you imagine how this new story might change the way our children open to the gifts of the Divine? And what about you? What do you believe? What if you don't have to "be good" to live an abundantly blessed existence? What if, every day, all that you need is available to you and all you have to do is open your heart and let it in! What if Spirit is Love - and Spiritual Love has no conditions?

From my family to yours, we send you wishes for a blessed Holy-day season and an amazingly abundant New Year!

Blessed be,

Ahriana

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

A life remembered

The loving partner of a dear friend of mine is dying from cancer. There are doubts that she will make it to Christmas, or to their 20th anniversary on Christmas Eve. Sasha and Mau have been the type of friends we all have on the edges of our lives - good people, loving people, who either live far away or lead busy lives, and thus we don't get to see each other very often. But when we're together, the smiles and the laughter always ring true.

On Monday, Sasha asked that I work on the Memorial program for Mau, so that it could be in place when the time came. I've been asked to speak at memorials before, as a friend and as a minister, and have even conducted the funeral services of man and beast. But to be given the responsibility of creating a remembrance for someone who has touched so many lives so deeply...this was an honor indeed, and a frightening one at that.

I searched through books and online, and read through my past services for such occasions, and I called on those who knew Mau to contribute what they felt was meaningful to her legacy. I would like to post some of those items here, as I found them to be profound and moving, and hope in some ways, they are inspiring.


I will not live an unlived life.
I will not live in fear
of falling or catching fire.
I chose to inhabit my days,
To allow my living to open me,
to make me less afraid,
more accessible,
to loosen my heart until it becomes a wing,
a torch, a promise.
I choose to risk my significance,
to live so that which came to me as seed
goes to the next blossom,
and that which came to me as blossom,
goes on to fruit.

If we measure a life by
the love that flowed through it,
the inspiration that found expression in it,
the joy that took root in it, and
the friends who felt at home in it,
then we can see that Mau's life
was generous and fully lived.


This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
Some momentary awareness comes
As an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!

Even if they are a crowd of sorrows,
Who violently sweep your house
Empty of its furniture,
Still,
Treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
For some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
Meet them at the door laughing,
And invite them in.
Be grateful for whoever comes,
Because each has been sent
As a guide from beyond.


Death is not the end. Death can never be the end.
Death is the road. Life is the traveller. The Soul is the Guide
Our mind thinks of death. Our heart thinks of life. Our soul thinks of Immortality.


I won’t say don’t cry, because we need to cry.
I won’t say don’t be sad, because we are sad.
I can’t say it’s ok, because it isn’t ok,
And I can’t say it’s better now, for her, because how can we know that?

This I do know:
She was a student first.
And what a student she must have been,
To have gathered so much wisdom; to have become, for us,
Our teacher, our mentor, our healer, our counselor, and partner.

A thousand babies were born into her warm, waiting hands,
And still more to them.
A thousand wounds were healed, and
A thousand souls have been mended
by her strong spirit and great wisdom.
So much energy flows from her to us,
And from us to the world.

And so, as she leaves behind the thousands of us
Whom she touched, and we ask ourselves
“What can I do?”
The answer seems to be: share the light and energy she touched us all with.
Her time here with us was not in vain and does not end now.
It has only just begun,
In this moment.

Monday, December 10, 2007

Say What You Need To Say

Lyrics to "Say" by John Mayer

Take out of your wasted honor
Every little past frustration
Take all of your so called problems
Better put them in quotations

Say what you need to say

Walkin like a one man army
Fightin with the shadows in your head
Living out the same old moment
Knowing you’d be better off instead

If you could only
Say what you need to say

Have no fear for giving in
Have no fear for getting older
You better know that in the end

Its better to say too much
Than never to say what you need to say again

Even if your hands are shaking
And your faith is broken
Even as the eyes are closing
Do it with a heart wide open
Why?

Say what you need to say

Wednesday, December 5, 2007

The Leaf and the Wind - A Fable for the Dark Times

This is one of my favorite stories/fables...it is from the book "Tell Me Another Story," by Lisa Suhay published by Paraclete Press on Sept 1, 2001

The Leaf & The Wind

Leaf looked out across the broad, dawn-pink sky and down over the beautiful Spring garden. The dewy breeze grazed it and left it shimmering, fluttering. As it moved, Leaf saw all the corners of the garden with its flowers, bushes, trees and animals. Leaf stretched to catch every sight and sound. It was a new leaf at the top of a very old tree.

Leaf adored all the elements - wind, sun and rain. But it was in love with the wind. Wind gave it the freedom of motion. Without the breeze it would never have seen the world below or from side to side. Wind rocked Leaf to sleep and shook it awake. Wind made Leaf dance.

Wind whistled haunting tunes through the branches, it whispered and sometimes it even sang. On many days, Wind told Leaf of the places it had been. "All across the Rivers and down to the sea have I been," whispered Wind. On that day, Leaf could even smell the scent of the water and salty places of which Wind spoke.

"High up the mountain to the very door of Heaven today," Wind told, as the fresh clean smells settled down upon Leaf. "I have seen where the Blue-sky ends and birds cease to wing. I have heard the voice of Life itself and it is so beautiful."

Leaf shuddered with the thought of having Life speak to it as it did to Wind. "When will life speak to me?" Leaf asked Wind. The breeze warmed as it blew over Leaf and Wind said softly,
"You can Hear Life's voice in me."

Whenever it blew past, be it a breeze or gale, the little green leaf waved a joyful greeting to Wind - like the hand of a happy child to a loved one. "I will love you for all time," Leaf whispered to the moving air around it. "I could not be happier."

Hearing this promise Tree itself shook and emitted a deep chuckle. "I am glad you are happy now," the tree said. "Enjoy your youth and beauty while you can, for soon enough you will be withered and brown, dry as dust and blown away by the same breeze that stirs your heart today."

Leaf stiffened at these words. The other leaves said nothing. One or two fell like tears before their time, so stricken were they by the sadness. "That is not so!" Leaf cried.

Tree shook again and said, "Oh but it is true. I have seen many, many leaves from many trees - fall and crumble. Your time will come to curse the wind and the way of things. Wind is old and you are young. Ask Wind sometime."

The tree said no more. Leaf tried not to think about what Tree had said. Of course it had heard the stories of how leaves grow old and die, but still it would never be hateful.

That very day, Leaf made a decision. It shouted to the world, "I will Never hate Wind. I will not give in to fear or unhappiness."

Still, the next time Wind came to call, Leaf could not help but ask. "When I become old, dry and brittle will you destroy me as Tree says," Leaf asked. Wind was silent for a long moment. "I will not destroy you my dear one," Wind said. "All Earthly things grow old and dry. That is not my doing."

Leaf was shaking and Wind could see the fear beginning to overtake Leaf. Wind added, "Keep your promise not to give in to hate and sorrow and when the time comes for you to fall, I will be there to catch you. It will be a beginning and not and end for you."

Again Leaf felt strong. "Tell me of your travels," Leaf said. Wind spoke well into the night.

Time passed. Leaf grew and changed. At first it became very big and strong. Then, as the air grew chill, Leaf began to take on the most magnificent colors. First a yellow cast and then little patches of red and gold began to creep across it.

"You are most beautiful today," whispered Wind. "I do not think that of all the leaves in the world there is one to match you." Leaf shook a bit, knowing full well that many of the others had also begun to change and take on different hues. Still, the words brought joy.

"It is the beginning of the end for you and all your kind," Tree said. "Soon now, oh so soon, you will be nothing but a speck in the dirt." All the other leaves began to droop and some even tumbled from their homes early as the weight of that unhappy thought dragged them down to Earth.

Not Leaf. "Words, words, words," Leaf laughed. "You cannot harm me with words. I choose to be happy with my fate. Others choose to be sad. The only one who will be sad when I am gone is you old tree for then who will you talk to?" Tree shook with frustration and anger. "You will see," Tree bellowed. "You will be dirt!"

As days passed Leaf began to feel thin and tired. The bright colors that covered Leaf darkened to brown and Leaf knew its time grew short. Still it would not be sad because each day now Wind told Leaf of the wonderful adventures that were to come.

Just seeing Leaf cling to happiness while all those around it fell made Tree angry. One day it could stand it no more and when Wind came to call, Tree shook for all it was worth and Leaf snapped away from its branch and began to fall.

Tree watched and waited for Leaf to scream and cry, to realize what horror had just befallen it. Instead Tree heard the sound of laughter. One moment Leaf was held fast to Tree and the next it was falling, flipping end over end. "I am flying!" Leaf laughed in pure joy.

"You are falling! Plunging," shouted Tree. "I am soaring like a little bird," Leaf sang out. "See how I go!"

Leaf felt something lift it up. It was Wind come to keep its promise. "I cannot take you far right now, just to rest on the ground. No matter what happens, do not be afraid. I will return for you."
Wind carried Leaf ever so gently to the ground and allowed it to rest there. Leaf could feel the rumble of the roots from Tree as it laughed and said," You see? Now you are ready to become like all the others. It is all just as I said. Just give up now."

Leaf was not stirred to sadness by Tree's words. It did not answer, but lay quietly looking up at the world. It all looked so different now. After a time, Leaf nodded off to sleep and a long time passed before it woke.

Instead of feeling old, stiff and papery, Leaf felt suddenly free to move about. It could hear wind singing softly through the trees and felt itself being lifted and spun higher and higher.

"Did I not promise all would be well," crooned Wind. "You have become the dust of the Earth, so light and so fine that I can carry you anywhere with me."

And so Wind did carry the dust of Leaf and scattered it over fields, onto the backs of birds that flew to mountains and into streams that led to oceans. Finally Wind seeded the clouds with the last few tiny grains that were once Leaf and Leaf came back to Earth with rains and snows.

Everywhere it fell the remains of Leaf brought a grain of pure joy, a drop Of hope and touch of love for wind and life.

One day in springtime Wind rustled past Tree and heard Tree telling all the young leaves about the Leaf that had loved the Wind and perished in the dirt.

Wind came back through Tree singing a breezy tune, "Listen my children, but not to those who tell you that your fate is in the dirt. Listen to me instead. I will tell the tale of how you will become Heaven's Dust. Believe and you will never dread."

If ever you wonder which leaves listen to Wind and not Tree, look up on a stormy day and see which ones wave a joyous greeting and which fall down in sorrow.

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

Respecting the fact that we're in the dark times

Ah, the holidaze - when we find ourselves rushing around like chickens without our heads...trying to get work wrapped up before the end of the year, making plans to meet with family, figuring out travel arrangements, making time to find a christmas tree and get decorations up, finding that last minute gift...

It's a frantic frenzy of frenetic energy and it goes against the entire meaning of this time of year. At Samhain, we honored those who have passed and we rid ourselves of the dross from the past year. As we approach the Winter Solstice, we're SUPPOSED to be gearing down, not gearing up. Now is a time of reflection - of rest and of decay. The dark times are a chance for us to let go of past events, emotions and unneeded baggage and allow ourselves to truly open up to the divine source as we begin to form our seeds for the coming year.

This is a time when we lose many of those we love to the arms of death and rebirth. It is normal for this to be a time of passing over - for those spirits who are ready to begin anew to leave this earthly plane of existence, in preparation for their reincarnation into the next lessons of a lifetime. They choose to leave us now, at a time of year when we are SUPPOSED to have the time to reflect on what they meant to us, on how they impacted our lives, and how we can best honor them in our own lives moving forward.

We must personally choose to slow down, and to honor the internal wheel within us all - honor ourselves enough to take time for ourselves now. We can choose instead to go running around willy-nilly and completely give up our right to reflection and release, but is that truly how you want to enter the next turn of the wheel?

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Sharing Traditions

The holiday season is about to whirl into full-on frenzy with the arrival of Turkey Day. Most folks see this as the advent of stress, bickering, too much food and too much football. But I see it as a wonderful time of Tradition sharing - from favorite recipes for that special feast, to secretly hoarded cookie recipes, even nostalgic trips that occur only at this time of the year, and just because they've just always been done. I've been enjoying the traditions shared by readers on CNN.com today, and it made me think of my own family traditions...

Like the walk through the woods on Thanksgiving Day - for me, growing up in New York, this actually started as a walk through the urban woods of our neighborhood, smelling the crispness of the air, and watching the chickadees and cardinals fight for the best spot on the telephone lines, next to a forgotten pair of sneakers wrapped by their laces around the wire.

It's evolved over the years, as we've moved from state to state and changed from urban areas to country areas. Now we have our own 43 acres to walk through, with our puppy by our side - we get to continue the tradition in our own fashion, and enjoy the wild turkeys, armadillos, hawks and squirrels as we wander through the forests of Pyrth Annwn.

We're starting a new tradition this year - having a feast with friends on our land the Saturday after Turkey Day. A way to kick back and enjoy good food and good company with people we only get to see a few times a year. This is one tradition I truly hope will linger on. What traditions are you celebrating or starting this year?

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Keeping perspective

Ever had one of those days when Life decided to clear a few things up for you?

Soft of like when the old Cosmic 2x4 smacks you upside the head and makes you look at the BIG picture, and you immediately stop sweating the small stuff?

It's too easy to get completely wrapped up in the day to day drama, and forget to focus on what really matters - family, friendship, hearth & home. I've found myself slicing through the cellophane wrap of drama recently with my teeth in order to regain that feeling of centeredness and balance, and it's my family and friends who have helped me get there - and I bet they don't even know it.

Isn't that amazing? How a friendly voice on the end of the phone, or a quick hug and smile as you walk through the door, or an e-mail that reminds you how important you are to someone - all these little things have such a big impact on your heart, and your soul. They just make the crazy tornadic stuff dissipate like a puff of smoke.

An e-mail from my sister highlighting the lasting happenings at her center in Colorado brought a huge smile to my face - she's making her dreams a reality, living the path she always strived for. E-mails and phone calls from my students, asking for advice and trusting me with difficult issues reminds me that I have a responsibility of the heart that outweighs any mundane brickabrack that might be impinging from the work world.

How about you? Anything happen in your world lately to bring your perspective into focus?

Friday, November 2, 2007

Dia de Los Muertos

Ah...dia de los muertos - the day of the dead. All hail La Calaca as he sashays through the streets, arm in arm with Santa Muerte and Baron Samedi. On this day, we celebrate the great unknown, the crossing over from life to death, and the rebirth to life again.

Families gather at the graves of loved ones, and share feasts and stories. Children eat sugar skulls and dancers sway to the drumbeats of painted drummers. The guardian spirits of the departed are honored with their favorite foods and libations - homes are decorated and altars are lit with pictures and candles and offerings.

And yet, Dia de Los Muertos is actually three days of celebrations, beginning on the 31st of October and ending today, on the 2nd of November. Those who join the lines of revelers clutch marigolds to their chests, symbols of those whom they remember.

The dead are regarded as protectors of the living, and so their counsel is sought in all family matters. These dead demand good behavior of the living, and they have within their power the ability to reward or punish. So death itself is merely one phase in the life-cycle, a transcendent mutation.

At the cemetery, the people quietly disperse among the cluttered tombstones. Bright garlands of marigolds ornament the graves. A trail of their golden petals leads back on the path to the local village. It is strewn as a beacon, a pathway, especially for the souls of los ninos, the children, the littlest angels.

An ancient race that dwelt in Mexico once wrote, "We only come to dream. we only come to sleep; It is not true that we come to live on Earth." Dia de los Muertos translates that prophecy into a mortal manifestation. And, although we all ultimately travel this adventure of life alone, there are times when you may hear La Calaca, the skeleton of death, laughing quietly behind your back.

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Samhain Reflections

The cool air of Samhain is here - yet another turn of the wheel ends and begins anew. The time has come for remembrance, for introspection and for healing.

The Earth is primary, as the Mother exchanges the kiss of power with the God and retreats into the womb to rest and restore. The God dons his antlers and revels in his work of protection and will, for he is our guide through the dark days until the light returns to us.

I remember those we have lost this year, both to the next life and to a different path. Some will return again in time, others in another lifetime.

I think about those who have lost me this year - whom I have pulled away from by choice, or who I have chosen not to fight, but to allow to move on to other journeys that do not include me.

I think of all the new people who have joined my circle this year - the many smiling faces that have come to be known as family.

I give thanks for all those I hold close to my heart, and for all those who hold me close in theirs.

And I give thanks to the God and Goddess for the man who stands beside me - my partner, lover and friend - my soul mate.

This is a time for feasting, for telling stories, for remembering and for honoring. It is a time to slow down, to savor the smells and flavors of the frosty air, to smile as the little ghouls and goblins skip along the sidewalks and pilfer treats from neighboring houses.

Under the moonlight tonight, as the breeze plays on your skin, open your heart to your memories and find a place of peace there - ground yourself in that peace and use it to build your foundation for the coming year ahead.

Thursday, October 25, 2007

Learning to Let Go

It's not an easy thing - to trust your gut and just let go....to allow your faith to guide your actions. Even for Pagans, letting go and allowing the universal divine to guide you through rough patches is a difficult exercise. We're so used to taking the lead, taking personal responsibility, being in control.

There are a select few people in my life whom I respect and admire because they have "mastered" the art of letting go. I've seen them remain calm and cool headed, even under extreme pressures. All because they have faith that the divine will see them through, and that the current events had to happen in order for them to learn a lesson and move forward. They somehow manage to really "be" in the moment, to see the lesson at hand, conceptualize it, understand it and learn from it - all the while they're in this maelstrom of things going haywire.

It's something I strive for - this peaceful place of acceptance and learning. I'm a hard headed Aries, and patience, though a virtue, is not one that comes easy to those of us who enjoy butting our heads into walls.

But I'm trying...and I'm learning. Not just about the many lessons I have yet to understand in this lifetime, but I'm also learning about myself, and my capacity for inner peace, and my ability to help others find that place of acceptance and learning, especially when the sky seems to be falling on our heads.

How about you? What's your capacity for inner peace? Is your faith strong enough to just let go?

Monday, October 15, 2007

The Joys of Chosen Family

Home Again, Home Again....

I came home again this past weekend, when my husband and I attended WytcheHaven, a bi-annual gathering of open-minded and loving people in the Ozarks. This place, this sanctuary of Pyrth Annwn, has become my home, and the fellow "Weekenders" have truly become my family, my hearthkin.

Smiles, hugs, shouts of joy, giggles, laughter - all greet you as you drive up the windy road to the check in station and are greeted by the volunteers. More happy shouts and smiles come as you drive the main road, looking for a good camping spot. Even more come as you start to unpack your vehicle, and folks (some whom you know, others whom you are meeting for the first time) come up and offer to help you get settled.

This place has blossomed into a community of like-minded spirits - a chosen family of love and joy. It's been a week now since we left and returned to Mundania, and still my heart is full of happiness, joy, excitement, optimism and levity....how I wish we could meet more than just twice a year.

The sounds of the drums still echo inside of me...I find myself tapping out the beat here at my desk...I can smell the campfires, and in my mind's eye see the dancers as they commune with the flames and salamanders in the revel fire.

Even our young pup, Cenau, wants to go back. Everytime we go out to the cars, he's ready to jump in and head "camping." Ever since we returned, he spends more time outside than in - the pup that used to live stretched out on the floor vent now galavants through our 20 acres like he owns the place.

The freedom of truly being yourself, without fear of judgement or reprisal - to be accepted as you are - how wonderfully liberating that is for the soul, body and mind - how I wish Mundania could instead be like this, so that we could all be one family, one hearthkin.

Thursday, September 27, 2007

Finding Your Way

I was on a long (6 hour) road trip to Kansas City the other day with a colleague of mine from the office. When we hit the "no radio" area, she glanced through my CD's and popped in Sting's "Mercury Falling" album.

I hadn't listened to this one in a while and found myself happily humming along through the first few songs, lyrics seemingly coming from the depths of my brain to allow me to sing along in my head. And then we hit the song "Soul Pilot" and I had one of those mini epiphanies that can either make or break your day.

It's a really simple song - basically, Sting is saying to trust your Soul (aka your intuition, gut instinct, etc.) to guide you on your path, whether things are going really well or really badly.

What a simple solution to everyday stress - stop, breathe, listen to your Soul, and move ahead. I think it's actually the Stop part that hangs everyone up - we're so busy getting things done that the idea of actually stopping and standing (or sitting) still for more than 5 seconds seems impossible.

So - I tried it. I've been fretting about a lot of small things lately - we're getting ready to put on a major festival, and with these types of events there are 101 oddball odds and ends that need attending to, and seemingly no time to get them all done. So, as I said, I tried it by stopping - stopping what I was doing, stopping thinking about work, and just clearing my mind. You would not believe how hard that was. Try it - you'll see. Tuning out co-workers, phones, computers, printers, the worries in my head - oy!

I eventually got to a serene place, took paper and pen, and made a list of the small worries that have been eating at me. Then, one by one, I went through each item, and focused just on that one thing - and really listened to myself and to my higher self about it. One by one, I got ideas and ways to move forward, until I'd made it to the bottom of my list. Then I sat back and looked at it - wow - there was a lot of relieved stress and worry on that page - there was direction and potential movement in its place. Pretty darn cool.

So now, I'm not worrying, because I have a plan of action, and my day actually feels lighter and brighter than it did a few minutes ago. What a marvelous feeling of accomplishment. I highly recommend the exercise - it might surprise you.

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Musings from the Back Porch

I am lucky enough to work at a pagan-owned company, smack-dab in the middle of the Ozarks, that just so happens to be on the third floor of a building in the city's Courthouse Square. We have a lovely porch out back that looks out upon the vast sprawl of the city and the bountiful greens of the ozark forests beyond.

It's a wonderful place to take a brain-break, relax and watch the last of the hummingbirds fly through, stealing the final sips of nectar from the vines that crawl along our porch railings. We've been fortunate enough at home to have been entertained this summer by these fast flying acrobats - I've marveled at how quickly their young matured, and at the strange and melodious chirpings they make, especially when defending their territory. At the height of our season, we had over 12 hummingbirds fighting over our one measley feeder - the cats (needless to say) spent the majority of their summer with their noses glued to the window.

Today's high flyer on the back porch here at work was alone, quickly and efficiently slurping down the flower sap as it flitted from flower to flower. No rest for the weary it seemed, as he skillfully worked his way along the vine, not missing a single flower that I could see. Made me tired just watching him.

How often do we behave just like him - quickly working through our errands without a second to pause and take in the beauty around us. It made me realize that I had been doing just that all morning - rushing to work, working through meetings, running several errands on my lunch break, then rushing back to work and working through my To-Do lists...all the while completely oblivious to the beautiful weather outside - bright sunshine, azure blue skies, a lovely breeze and cool temperatures - my short break out on the porch has completely managed to reinvigorate me for the rest of the day.

How about you? Been buzzing around at high speed like the hummingbird? Make the choice to allow yourself a moment to catch your breath, breathe in deep and let your shoulders relax. Bet you feel better too!

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

The Power of Forgiveness

Remember the old adage, "Forgive and Forget"? As children, we're all reminded to forgive, and better yet to forget when bad things happen and move on. I advise a different strategy - "Forgive and Learn."

I don't see how "forgetting", or really just pretending to forget, helps anything. Instead, we should forgive and we should learn from what has taken place, and then move forward. Forgetting seems like a waste, a cop-out.

If we instead Learn from what happened, we at least have a leg up on the situation if we encounter it again. And we've grown - we've allowed ourselves to grow in some way by choosing to learn. When we forget, we choose to stagnate, to stay mired in our feelings of hurt or betrayal.

Be honest - can you ever truly forgive and forget? Isn't it easier to forgive and learn?

Monday, September 10, 2007

Gratitude

Gratitude - saying "Thank You" - giving thanks for the harvest - acknowledging the efforts of a friend, or even a stranger - being grateful you're not alone.

How many times do we take it for granted that people know we are grateful for them - for their help, their wisdom, their advice, their shoulder to cry on, for being a sounding board, for just listening, or for doing something completely unexpected but urgently needed?

What are you grateful for today? Not just grateful for in general, but grateful for TODAY...what's happened today so far that you're grateful for? For myself, I'm grateful to have woken up next to a very sexy pagan man, grateful for my puppy's unabashed lickings of love as I stumbled to the door, for my cat's well-timed jump into my lap as I sipped my coffee so I could give her some well deserved pets. I'm grateful to the man at the stop sign who waved me through, for the coworker who started the coffee this morning so I could grab a cup without having to make a pot.

Do you see where I'm going with this? There are so many little miracles that happen everyday to lighten our lives and lighten the weight the world places on our shoulders. Open your heart, and find the loving gratefulness that's in there, waiting to be unleashed and gifted to all those around us that we're grateful for every day - you'll be amazed how being grateful for others can make you feel better yourself.

Monday, August 27, 2007

Change

The following quote is posted on the wall across from desk...

"change is...to give up what we are to become what we could be."

It's an interesting perspective on the subject - so many times, we see change as merely the denouement of the inevitable turning of the wheel. As time advances, so does change.

What if every change was for a reason? Many of you are sitting there saying, "Well of course every change is for a reason." A Universal reason, yes - I would agree - say hello to the old Cosmic 2 x 4 to the back of the head. But what about a personal reason?

Can you find a personal reason for the changes in your life? Do you see growth in change, or perhaps further stagnation? Do you look for the meaning, or just roll with the punches?

How many times have we missed the point of change?

How many times have we instigated change?

How many times have we run from change, choosing to remain tightly within the cocoon of the familiar?

Is your cocoon getting a bit snug?

Thursday, August 23, 2007

Being grateful for the little things

Ever had one of those days where you just want to crawl back into bed, pull the covers over your head and not wake up til tomorrow? But you have a job, and you need your paycheck, so you drag your sorry butt out of bed, get dressed and present a smile to the world at the office while inside you're wishing you could just turn around and go home?

I had one of those days recently, and the simplest thing turned it all around for me. After slogging through the workday and driving thru traffic, I came home to a HUG. Not a big hug, not an "over the top hug ya til ya can't breathe" hug - just a hug, but it was all I needed. So simple, yet so powerful. Just a little human contact, and a gesture of love and kindness. The whole hug took less than 5 seconds I'm sure. But it completely lifted my spirits.

Am I alone in finding such a small gesture to be such a gift? Why don't we hug more these days? Children hug all the time - watch them next time you're at the park or at a playground. There's an almost constant stream of helping hands, touches on the shoulder and hugs that go on between children. Hugs of encouragement, hugs of laughter, hugs of solace, hugs of accomplishment. When do we stop hugging - and why?

Who have you hugged lately? How did it make you feel? Was it a happy hug or a sad hug? Did you do most of the hugging or did they?

I don't know about you, but I think my hubster is getting a really good hug from me when I get home tonight - just because.

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Personal Responsibility

When did the virtue of Personal Responsibility become a piece of garbage easily tossed away into the nearest trash receptacle? Are parents no longer teaching their children the importance of owning up to their actions, and the consequences they bring? Growing up on a grimy street in New York City, my brother and I knew there would be hell to pay if we did something stupid - if we made a bad choice. Our parents told us, our grandparents told us - our teachers reminded us to think before we acted, our pastor told us about accepting the consequences of our choices.

Every day we make choices, both simple and complex. But when did we stop thinking before choosing? How many people do you know who blame past events for their present choices? Who refuse to see their own will at play, instead blaming the will of another who did something to them years ago. Or perhaps they blame "Society" or a bad upbringing - heaven forbid they look in a mirror or recognize that the hand causing the harm is attached to their arm.

Our world is suffering from the lack of personal responsibility people in today's society are expressing - this refusal to acknowledge their role in the destruction of our planet is hampering any efforts to reverse that damage. An Inconvenient Truth and The 11th Hour are great wake up calls that there's a problem - but if no one is willing to fess up to their part of the cause, is there really any way to fix it - or are we already doomed?

Thursday, August 16, 2007

Unconditional Love

Isn't it amazing how animals can love unconditionally whereas humans cannot? Are we too evolved to truly let go and love someone completely? Or too self involved?

What is it about our furry friends which allows them to give of themselves so completely? I know there have been many days where I just couldn't have faced the world without a "kitty break" from one of our family of felines. Just those few stolen moments of a living, breathing being, curled up in fits of happiness on your lap, purring contentedly at the fact that you sat still long enough for them to get comfortable.

Why can't we do that as a species? What is it that keeps us from finding that deep sense of connectedness with each other? Are we afraid to love too deeply - perhaps victims of pain from events that happened in our past? How much courage would you need to "take the plunge" and love someone warts and all?

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Allowing yourself the time to feel

Our society is such a go-go-go highway of people moving, doing, being...that we sometimes forget to stop and allow ourselves to really feel. I don't mean to stop and smell the roses or look at a pretty sunset. Instead, I mean to really stop for a moment, and ask ourselves - how do I feel? To take the time needed to really look at that - am I sad? I am. Why am I sad? To take the time to process the emotion so that you can allow yourself to move on.

It can be a pretty scary proposition at first. Think about it - if you really stop for a moment, you could have a whole list of emotions riling around in your body that you've pushed to the side to make way for "getting things done", using the excuse of "not having time now to deal with it" or telling yourself you'll "deal with it later." Well, "later" has become now.

Still mad at a friend for a perceived slight? Angry at your spouse for not changing out the toilet paper roll? Mad at the cat for clawing the furniture? Sad about the death of a writer who had a profound effect on you as a teenager?

All these emotions can get completely swirled up together into a smorgasbord of debilitating feelings - and yet society teaches us to push it all aside for a rainy day when you're alone and no one but you can be inconvenienced with it. Why is that? Why shouldn't we be able to help our friends get through these feelings? Why do we have to be alone to face them? Why don't we face them in the here and now, instead of hiding them behind our spleens until the time is right? It's no surprise our country is full of over-stressed people who have completely lost touch with who they are as beings.

Have you?

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

What do we mean when we say we're spiritual?

Seems like an easy question to answer on the surface, doesn't it? That's the rub...because when your brain starts to form the words for the explanation, it's at that moment you realize how many different tangents you can take.

Are you spiritual? Why are you spiritual? What constitutes being spiritual?

Does it mean we meditate every day, or stop to smell the roses and hug a tree, or just that we feel a connection to....something other than ourselves?

Is community spiritual? That great melting pot of people, beliefs and joy that meld into community would seem to be an outward expression of spirituality in it's purest sense, and yet that same community can dissolve in backstabbing, bad feelings and remorse. So fragile...

...is spirituality so fragile? Do we have to work everyday to remain spiritual? Is it something we have to renew as we wake each day or something that is always there, just waiting for us to reach out to it?

What if we don't make the choice to reach? Will our higher selves reach for us?

Monday, August 13, 2007

"Power Over" disease

Why is it that paganism today is swamped with individuals full to the brim with "Power Over" disease? They want Power Over others, power over their local communities, power over their covens, power over events in the area....where in "Do what thou wilt so long as it harm none (including yourself)" does it say...but oh yes, you can completely run someone else's life, or rule by intimidation, or evict people from a group or community because they don't believe exactly as you do? I am so tired of those petty, insecure individuals who feel they MUST be THE ONE and ONLY pagan in their area - that they have to be some kind of "clearing house" for the community at large, needing to provide their stamp of approval on everything.

Why aren't more pagan leaders standing up to these blowhards and protecting the young novices who don't have a clue? How can you sit by and allow this to continue? Why do pagans refuse to "get involved" - afraid of a witch war? scared of being "outed"? Guess what, if we don't protect our true paths, we'll have nowhere safe to walk on this journey. It's time to stand up, be heard, be fearless - and walk the walk that is our faith and belief. Time to put these overbearing dimwits on their butts and out of our communities for good.